എന്റെ ഗ്രാമം-എത്ര സുന്ദരം

കോളേജ് ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ അവസാനം. വീട്ടില്‍ ചുമ്മാ കുത്തിയിരുന്ന് മടുത്തു. ഏതാണ്ട് ഒരു മാസം vacation ഉള്ളതില്‍ മൂന്നു ദിവസമേ ആയിട്ടുള്ളൂ. അങ്ങനെ ഇരിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ അച്ഛന്‍പെങ്ങളുടെ മോള്‍ടെ കല്യാണത്തിരക്ക്. അച്ഛമ്മക്ക്‌ നേരത്തെ എത്തണം. കൊണ്ടുപോവാന്‍ ആരും ഇല്ല. എനിക്ക് തന്നെ കിട്ടി ആ ഉത്തരവാദിത്വം. ഒരു കാറും തന്നു.

ആലുവ കഴിഞ്ഞു തൃശൂര്‍ ഭാഗത്തേക്ക് പോകുമ്പോള്‍ ദേശം എന്നൊരു ഇടമുണ്ട്. NH 47 വഴിയേ പോകുമ്പോള്‍ റോഡ്‌ അരികത്തു വെറും ഒരു ഗ്രാമം. അത്രെയേ ഉള്ളു. ഞാനും ഇന്ന് വരെ അങ്ങനെയാണ് വിചാരിച്ചത്. സ്ഥലം: കുന്നുംപുറം എന്ന പ്രദേശം. എന്റെ അച്ഛന്റെ വീട്. അതിരാവിലെ പുറപെട്ടത്‌ കൊണ്ട് ഒരു 9 :30 മണി ആയപ്പോഴേക്കും അങ്ങെത്തി.

അന്നെതെ പരുപാടി ഒക്കെ തീര്‍ത്തു കിടക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ഞാന്‍ സ്ഥിരം വീട്ടില്‍ അടിക്കുന്ന പോലെ ഒരു വീരവാദം നടത്തി. കോളേജ് വിട്ടിട്ടു ശരിരം അനങ്ങിയിട്ടില്ല. നാളെ രാവിലെ നടക്കാന്‍ പോണം. അനിയത്തിയും പറഞ്ഞു അവള്‍ തയ്യാര്‍ എന്ന്.  രാവിലെ ആയപ്പോള്‍ എല്ലാരും മറക്കും എന്ന് വിചാരിച്ചു ഞാന്‍ സുഖ നിദ്രയില്‍ ആണ്ടു. വീട്ടില്‍ സ്ഥിരം അങ്ങനെ ആണ്. അമ്മ എന്നെ വിളിച്ചു മടുക്കുമ്പോള്‍ അമ്മേടെ വീട് പണികളിലേക്ക്   തിരിയും. അനിയത്തി അങ്ങനെ ആണെന്ന് വിചാരിച്ചത് എന്റെ മണ്ടത്തരം. രാവിലെ 6 : 30 ആയപ്പോള്‍ അവള് റെഡി. ഞാന്‍ പഠിച്ച പണി പതിനെട്ടും നോക്കി, പക്ഷെ അവളുണ്ടോ സമ്മതിക്കുന്നു. അങ്ങനെ അമ്മായി ഉണ്ടാക്കി തന്ന ചായയും കുടിച്ചു ഞങ്ങള്‍ അവിടുന്ന് മേലോട്ട് നടന്നു. നടക്കുംതോറും ആ പ്രദേശത്തിന്റെ ഗ്രാമീണത വര്‍ധിച്ചു കൊണ്ടേ ഇരുന്നു. അങ്ങനെ പോകുമ്പോള്‍ ചെറിയ വാഴതോട്ടങ്ങള്‍, ഒരു നാടന്‍ ചായക്കട,പിന്നെ കര്‍ഷകരെ കിട്ടാത്തത് കൊണ്ട് ഒഴിഞ്ഞു കിടക്കുന്ന പാടങ്ങള്‍, ചെറിയ ഒരു പാലം, അതിനപ്പുറം ഒരു ഓടിട്ട INTUC ഓഫീസ് അങ്ങനെ പലതും.

അടുത്ത ദിവസോം എന്റെ അമ്മാവനായിരുന്നു കൂടെ. ഞങ്ങള്‍ വഴിയേ ഒരു തനതായ ചായകടയില്‍ കേറി. രാവില്‍ 7 :30 കേള്‍കുന്ന നാടുവര്തമാനത്തില്‍ നടന്‍ തിലകന്റെ അവസ്ഥയില്‍ തുടങ്ങി നാട് പ്രമാണിമാര്‍ എങ്ങനെ അമ്പല കമ്മിറ്റിയില്‍ നിന്നും പണം എടുത്തു എന്ന് വരെ ഉള്ള ചൂടുള്ള ചര്‍ച്ച. CPI (M ) ആണ് അമ്പലം ഭരിക്കുന്നെ എന്ന് കേട്ടപ്പോള്‍ എന്റെ അമ്മാവന്റെ ഉള്ളിലെ കമ്മ്യൂണിസ്റ്റ്‌ ഒന്ന് വിഷമിച്ചു. എന്തായാലും ഞങ്ങള്‍ ഒരു ചായ കുടിച്ചു സ്ഥലം കാലി ആക്കി.

അടുത്ത ദിവസം പിന്നെയും പെങ്ങള്ടെ കൂടെ തന്നെ രാവിലെ ഇറങ്ങി. ഇത്തവണ ഞങ്ങള്‍ ഒരു പാടത് നിന്ന് കുറച്ചു പടങ്ങളും എടുത്തു. തിരിച്ചു വരുന്ന വഴി നാടന്‍ പഴവും മേടിച്ചു.

പിന്നെ ഉള്ള ഒരു രസകരമായ കാര്യം എല്ലാ നാടുകരും പോകുന്ന വഴി വീടിലേക്ക്‌ ക്ഷണിക്കും. പലര്ക്കും അച്ഛനെ അറിയാവുന്നത് കൊണ്ടും, ഞങ്ങള്‍ തമ്മില്‍ നല്ല സാമ്യത ഉള്ളത് കൊണ്ടും എന്നെ എല്ലാരും തിരിച്ചറിയുകയും വിശേഷം ചോദിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തു.

നല്ല കുറച്ചു ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ തന്ന ഈ ദിവസങ്ങള്‍ ഓര്‍മിക്കാന്‍ ഇത് എഴുതിയെ പറ്റു എന്ന് തോന്നി,

എന്റെ ഗ്രാമം-എത്ര സുന്ദരം- courtesy: USHA UTHUP.

:P

എന്റെ കല്പവൃക്ഷം

പണ്ട് സ്കൂളില്‍ പഠിച്ചുകൊണ്ടിരുന്ന കാലത്ത് അവധി ദിവസങ്ങളില്‍ ഉച്ചയൂണ് കഴിഞ്ഞു മഴയും നോക്കി ഞാന്‍ എന്റെ മുറിയില്‍ ഇരിക്കുമായിരുന്നു. അന്നേരം നല്ല മാമ്പഴം മേടിച്ചു വെച്ചിരിക്കുന്നത് അച്ഛനോ അമ്മയോ കൊണ്ട് തരും. ഞങ്ങള്‍ ചേട്ടനും അനിയത്തിയും അത് കഴിച്ചു മാങ്ങയുടെ അണ്ടി ജനല്‍ വഴിയെ പുറത്തേക്കു എറിയും.

അങ്ങനെ വീണ ഏതോ രണ്ടെണ്ണം മുളച്ചു വളര്‍ന്നു. അത് വീടിന്റെയും മതിലിന്റെയും ഇടയില്‍ ഉള്ള ഇടുങ്ങിയ സ്ഥലത്തില്‍ വളരെ കഷ്ടപ്പെട്ട് വളര്‍ന്നു. എവിടെയോ നിന്ന് അതില്‍ നിറയെ പുളിയുറുമ്പ് വന്നു താമസം ആയി. മാവ് പൂത്തു പിന്നെ കായ്ച്ചു. രണ്ടിലും നിറയെ മാങ്ങാ. പറിച്ചെടുക്കാന്‍ നല്ല ബുദ്ധിമുട്ടാണെങ്കിലും ഞങ്ങള്‍ എങ്ങെനെയെങ്കിലും കുറച്ചെണ്ണം ഒക്കെ ഒപ്പിച്ചു പറിച്ചെടുക്കും. അങ്ങനെ പതുകെ പതുകെ വഴിയെ പോകുന്നവര്‍ ഒക്കെ മതിലിന്റെ അപ്പുറത്ത് നിന്ന് മാങ്ങ കല്ലെറിഞ്ഞു വീഴ്ത്തും. ആ മാവിനെ ചുറ്റിപറ്റി പല മൃഗങ്ങളുടെയും മനുഷ്യരുടെയും ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ കഥകള്‍ ചുരുലന്ഴിഞ്ഞു. അടുത്തുള്ള ചേരിയില്‍ നിന്നുമുള്ള വീട്ടമ്മമാര്‍ അന്ന് ഉച്ചക്ക് വെക്കാനുള്ള കറിക്കുള്ള മാങ്ങ പറിക്കും. സ്കൂളില്‍ നിന്നും തിരിച്ചു വരുന്ന പിള്ളേര്‍ അത് എറിഞ്ഞു വീഴ്ത്തും. ചിലര്‍ ഒരു ചുളുവിലെ കച്ചവടം നടത്താന്‍ ഒരു എട്ടു പത്തെണ്ണം ഒപ്പിച്ചു അടുത്ത ചന്തയിലേക്ക് പോകും. കാക്കയും അണ്ണാരകണ്ണന്‍മാരും ഒക്കെ പഴുത്ത മാംബഴതിനായി അതിന്മേല്‍ എന്ന് എത്തും. പുളിയുറുമ്പുകള്‍ അതിന്റെ പണിയില്‍ എര്പെട്ടിരിക്കും. അങ്ങനെ ഞങ്ങളുടെ ആ മാവ് നാടിന്റെ തന്നെ ഒരു ഭാഗമായി.

ഞങ്ങള്‍ ആരും ആരെയും മാവില്‍ നിന്നും മാങ്ങ എടുക്കുന്നതില്‍ നിന്നും വിലക്കിയിരുന്നില്ല. അതില്‍ എല്ലാര്ക്കും വേണ്ടതിനെക്കാളും കൂടുതല്‍ മാങ്ങ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു.

എടുക്കുംതോറും കൂടുതല്‍ തന്നു കൊണ്ടിരിക്കുകയും ഒരിക്കലും തീരാതിരിക്കുകയും ചെയുന്ന ഒരു മാവാണ് അത്.

 അതില്‍ വര്‍ഷത്തില്‍ എല്ലാ ദിനത്തില്‍ മാങ്ങയുണ്ടാവും.അത് എല്ലാരേയും സന്തോഷിപ്പിക്കും. അത് എന്റെ വീടിലെ കല്പവൃക്ഷം.

പാഠം: കൊടുത്തു ശീലിക്കു. നമ്മെയും അത് സമൃദ്ധിയിലേക്ക് നയിക്കും.

The End

I woke up that day listening to the mew of kittens...It came from the yard behind my house. then i saw an ailing cat passing by, my dog scaring it away just like the time milking the life from it. She looked like the mother of those kittens.

I used to enjoy watching the kittens playing around, always a silent spectator never getting anywhere near them. I used to take a few photos and that is it. There were five of them in all colors-white black grey brown and yellow mixed in different combination and proportions. In two days there was just one left. I didn't know where the others went and I never cared to find out.

I saw the ailing cat, the same evening at my aunt's place, a stone's throw away, fighting for its life hanging to it dearly.

I went back and checked out on the kitten which saw me mewed at me softly and innocently. May be it was begging for help, for food, for being adopted into the family. I still remained a silent spectator.

In the evening that day my cousin, who lives opposite to our place, told the sick cat was lying in between the plants, in their small garden. I checked out and found that it was going through the last of its minutes. We offered food and milk to it. It never tried to open its mouth to eat or drink. May be it couldn't, even if it tried. It just looked at me painfully and mewed with great pain, asking for pity. I guess it knew its end was near. May be it wanted to live, for its kittens.

I went home and just happened to check for the solitary kitten. It wasnt there.

I visited my aunt's home again and saw the cat has already breathed its last breathe. It was no longer a burden for the world. we gave her a decent burial and parted ways.

But where was the last kitten? Where were its siblings? Did they already know it was futile to wait for the mother who would never come?

Or were they the unfortunate first victims of some predator, of which their sibling was the last.

What a sad ending to so many lives. There is so much of suffering around us. I wish I could help every unfortunate life in the world. But then, i can't. So I may mourn, I might cry for them, and later when the feeling sinks in, I move on. That's life. It hurts everyone somewhere or the other. There is no point brooding over the tragedy of others and at times even yours for a long time. And life just has to move on.

Wrote this almost 3 years back on a vacation from Infosys. I found it in my mails and wondered why I didn't post it on my blog:-). It was a really sad day for me.

I Lost her:-(

We were infront of the mirror... I was caressing her well. She was sexy, smart and suited me well.I was doing a backward stroke and I narrowly missed the perfect move. OMG, I removed a part of her. We both looked at the mirror and discovered horror on our faces. We knew it was the end of the life together. We exchanged good byes and I told her I'll see her in her next life. And then I finished her off with a single stroke of the blade.

I lost my beard to a bad shaving move...:-(

A day like this!!!

I too want to write about my valentine's day. I woke up and took the gift I hid in my cupboard and went down (I sleep upstairs). She was fast asleep on her bed. Laid it beside her, and then went and picked up The Hindu and read it in my usual manner (A bad habit I got from my grandpa to my dad to me, not worth describable). Oh! by the way, the lady is my sister and it is her birthday. ;-)

The first thing that caught my eye was 'The Magazine', which I read after even the cricket scores of every local match that happened. I saw the whole front page had 2 articles on Euthanasia. The Hindu's way of saying that the first thing you can do for your loved ones is to eliminate their pain, before showering love on them. My viewpoints on them are still scrambled. I don't know if it is right or wrong.

The next good thing I did was to watch a movie on my laptop with a boy. Yes he's my nephew who watches 'Ee Pattanathil Bootham' every weekend morning, the first thing. That is the only DVD he owns for himself. This smartie watched it more than what he knows to count (He says he can count upto 100). He had denied me a chance to look at the print of 'Bramaram' which is in the same DVD so many times. But today he allowed me to use it, because his grandpa had to watch some program on tv and the only other available DVD players were at my home and he liked my laptop the most. The deal was to use my bed (which I don't allow anyone else to use:P), sit through the whole movie, fast forward the emotional parts, rewind to all his favorite comedy scenes again and again and listen to his narration too. How can you deny someone so sweet?

A normal lunch on a very normal day for a conservative family. My payasam (birthday special) that I left downstairs to cool down remained there. After an hour I am still lazy to go down and get it. Amma, tired of seeing it everytime she passed by the dining table brought it upstairs just now.:-)

Meantime read Payyan's (who happens to be my classmate too) hilarious post ( http://payyantimes.blogspot.com/2010/02/blog-post_13.html).

Saw a blogger comment on it and checked her blog if it was worth a read. What surprised me was that she wrote about something This is what I wanted my sister to do to anyone mean enough to try that on her. Kudos!!!

In these two weeks I got to know freedom is something human beings cherish the most. I am going out for the third time this month (with no one, it is just a friend's marriage reception party). First two were for my surgery and check up and the third because I badly wanted to go out. All I could go to was to see my dad's latest obsession: the house he's building or getting build or trying to atleast (Hope he doesn't read atleast the last part).

Wish everyone a Happy Valentine's day!!!

Angry Young Man

I am a naturally angry man. I do things the way I want. The anger never comes out. That is my USP.

My anger remains inside me and is manipulated the way I want it. I can either convert it into vengeance and shower it upon my arch rival or just let it evaporate. I can convert it into something productive by competing with the people I am angry at. More importantly for me, I can remain angry deep within but still put up a smiling face. I am diplomatic, I guess.

But, for you my sweet friend, I display my anger and so does my love. I don't hide my emotions because I want you to understand me. I know that how much ever we fight, we will remain thick friends. I know that you will want my presence in your life for eternity. And I know I will be there for you too. I am sorry for hurting you. But it will happen till friendship dies. And since it will never end, I guess you will have to tolerate me. And this ,my friend, is my new year gift for you. Thank you for being my friend.

An Apology

I am insensitive my friend, I am. I had always wanted myself that way. I molded myself for your sake and for my sake. I can't waste a life on broken dreams.I can't see a future where I spend time for people lost, love lost and for all the times I got hurt.

I want to see a life beyond mediocrity, which we planned together-a life where our dreams take wings and fly so far that we get lost in the euphoria. I want to weave it in such a way as to fulfill every wish of yours. And without you being around? I want to be everything you wanted me to be. Huh, what a useless life? What a senseless ambition?

I want to be everything you wanted me to be. I am still yours, without wanting you. I try to show I am selfish, that I live for myself and for none. I convince myself that I left you for my convenience. I live in a life of lies. My happiness is itself a farce. It is nothing but a mask to hide my inner self. There's a lot missing there. But let it be that way. Because I rejoice in a comfortable ecstasy there. I enjoy the feeling of believing that I can't get hurt. That I can control my heart.

And so my friend, I apologize for being insensitive. I apologize for the inconvenience I created. I hope you can forgive me one day.

Confessions of a Confused Soul

Software engineering life taught me that sundays are for fun, movies and friends. As I sit in my lab after finishing off my part of the marketing assignment waiting for others to get together to integrate the stuff, I lament that I missed a chance to be on a movie with my friends. But then, when I sit and think, I find that I am no longer with them. I have to grow and try to be with myself, find time for my career, grow and mature. There is no time to think about things you miss, people who left, friends who don't have time, home which you rarely visit. Umpteen other issues which play on your mind and tell you that you are the person with the most troublesome life on earth.

But then, if I sit down and think for a while, why should I lament? Am I the most pathetic soul on earth? There is only one answer- a definite 'no'. Aren't there people around who don't have the most frugal of meals. What about the beggars who sleep on the streets in the cold night, what about the stray animals which beg for food and get beaten up badly because a sick person wants to show his superiority. Aren't there lakhs of orphans who want someone to show them a whiff of love, while my dad and mom call me up every day. How can I call myself unfortunate when there are a million handicapped folks around the world who may not have a healthy body , but may spread warmth with the healthy mind.

Why should I worry about trivial matters, when there are people around me who remain happy even with the gravest of tragedies in their life? They do so because they chose their life to be the way they want it. There is no life without issues and there are no issues in life without a solution. There is always a choice of accepting that there is a problem and worrying over it ,or ignoring the issue. The choices we make may not be simple, but they help us be ourselves. I can redefine my life by saying there is no issue or by solving it. I emerge stronger when I do either of these. But when you retrospect over you miseries, you lose out.

So , my friend let us think about a bright tomorrow. Let us not fear unknown fears. Let us go to places unexplored. Let the mind be free to think about the world and its beautiful people than you and your issues. Expand th window of your perception and change your tomorrow. Because, as the poet said, there are miles to go before I sleep.

Where are you?

A particular friend of mine tried to teach me her way of friendship. She was a dreamer(I hope she still is), a lot more than I was, am or ever would be. Nutty or not(she's the only one who supports this side), she had a different views about how things are. If a few of my Infosys friends remember, the most famous one was that you could also serve in shuttle badminton by throwing it up in the air. There were many a discussions running into hours and turning really nasty. The temper getting lost and the foul smell of fights permeating. We disagreed, among many others ,particularly on one topic, of how people should treat their friends. I always was the more expressive one trying to keep in touch ,reassure my love and my support. She, on the other hand, believed it should all be in the heart and needn't be expressed. With other sweet people around we thrived more on our friendship than on our differences and had a great time together. As all friendships lose their strength with a separation ours too did, a rather expressive one, contrary to what she believed. I still remember the sadness on her face when we saw her off at Bangalore on our way to Chennai(should I mention that you cried?).

Life moves on, we find new friends and survive but the friendship still remains. We kept in touch and continued our fights over phone. And then came the day every girl would be looking forward. She found her hero and moved with him out of the country. New life, new people, new place. It has been months since I heard from her. There would always be new reasons to keep yourself busy. But there is no reason for not being in touch. Your friend misses you. Where are you?

A Foot Note:My dear friend, if you ever read this. There are no excuses for not telling me your number or where you are.

The Silver Steed Returns

He was with the prince all the time, the faithful one who accompanies him for all ventures.Good or bad, evil or divine, he stood up by his master faithfully. He never once failed to take him to the destination, he never ever gave up and he always raised the level. Then came a day when the master had to leave and travel far to seek his destiny. He lay in the stables unattended. But after sometime the call comes. He flees the stables to rejoin his master. Master travels to another pompous city, the faithful servant accompanies. He plays a wonderful role in the master's life by accompanying him far and wide. Master goes back home for a short break and leaves his ride there. He comes back to the city to the world of knowledge. He misses his steed again and again. Finally he decides to bring him back with him, be what ever the cost. And now the faithful servant is back in duty. The old faithful servant roars in the city. He's back with his master for the neverending adventures. The journey of the "Silver Steed"continues...

Read as: My bike is back in Chennai

I remember you all!!!

As the flavor of the first exams at IITM is felt, I have started enjoying thoroughly this new way of life.This is a place where i always wanted to be-the trees, the animals, the smiling faces, sincere friends and what not.

Life is a journey where you learn new things from new people, remember the good times you had with people you met at different turns. It makes you think about those who have made a difference in your life. Then you start missing them. But there is no pain in the heart. Just the feeling of numbness created by the void. A vacuum where where all you cries are lost and only the numbness remains. This makes you realise how love never leaves with the loved ones. They just stay in the tiny corner of your memory where days, events and the things they have left with you rejuvenates the moments you had with them. Those were beautiful small moments which you never thought will be important in your life when you experienced them, but they play such an important part in reminding you how dear the friend was.

There are promises that you would never be forgotten, but life always dilutes the emotions. You get so involved with people and activities around you that you forget there was this beautiful friend somewhere down the memory lane whom you used to be with all the time, talk about silly things, fight over small arguements ,make up so fast that you forgot you fought and laugh your stomachs over stupid jokes. The very same people say they are too busy to keep in touch. I am so sorry to admit I am one of them. But then that's how life is. You move on. You find new people, new friends, new partners. But one thing everyone would have in common is the way you cherish the memory of people who were with you, who stood by you and gave you all they can.

There's this beautiful lines from one of the best movies ever made, Shawshank Redemption, which goes like "I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend." Yes my friend, I do miss you. I know it'd have been a lot better for me if you were around. But I also understand how happy you are with your life away from me.

I understand there are things that you want in life, but you'll never get. There are people who come and go, and you can never demand them to be with you. To assimilate this you need great wisdom. The wisdom of a saint who is devoid of any worldly needs.

I bow to your friendship and to the good times we had ,my dear friend. I remember you.

I lived the day

There were days when you sat down and pondered on the worthiness of your existence. There were days when you met hapless souls with lesser or no means of existence and you ignored them completely. There were days indeed when you really wanted to help them but you felt so helpless and so useless. I remember the picture of a wealthy man's kid with a candy in hand walking through a street full of urchins who had little means to protect them. I always used to be that kid with the candy, who never cared to find out how to help.

Then there came this day, this function, where there were a bunch of ebullient blind girls who conquered the audience with their bhajans. I had to tell my friend who sang a bit earlier, "you lost your limelight to the energy and spirit of those girls". Her nod gave the answer. At their lunch I was encouraging these girls to finish off their meals. There was one particular girl who asked me in her refined english where I was from. When she got her answer she said "Kerala is a beautiful place,sir", and she went on to finish off her friend's ice-cream. That was the simplest way to put a smile on someone's face. Most people wouldn't know that. But she knew. Therein lies her greatness. And then there was the ceremonial farewell, where my friend told me we'd get a 'bye' in a chorus. And we did get it.

This was the moment of immense gratification. I rediscovered freedom on the 61st independence day. The sense of fulfilment is beyond words.I lived the day where I found joy.

Why so much of hatred?

This is the third day after the serial blasts rocked Mumbai. 7/11 another date to follow the twin towers of US, the december attack of Indian Parliament, the London railway attacks to be engraved into history books ,of course not with ink, but with blood.
As I sit here in the chair reading forwards of the Mumbai spirit being held high, of life resuming as normal as ever the next day, i feel a lot of respect towards the people there.But i also see photographs in my newspaper ,of mutilate bodies, mangled compartments, of wives and mothers and children mourning over their losses,I contemplate... Will life be as normal as ever for them?will time heal the wounds?Will there be someone who will take the places of the lost ones. No, time won't heal the wounds, it will only reduce the pain , make feelings numb, make people accept the inevitable and live their new lives, without the loved ones, as Raj Kapoor said in his famous movie-"the show must go on".
There are a lot of things that need to be pondered over.This can be the 5th major attack on the country's security in 13 years, starting with the mumbai serial blasts and then the Akshardham,the Kaargil, the parliament.There are countless others ,which, fortunately didn't take as many lives .How well have the government controlled these forces.Are they helpless, tied up?
If we have a look at the other countries that have been affected by terrorism, The US ,UK, Israel...., they have all launched outright offensives, with the slightest ever provocation, on the so called perpetrators of terrorism.As in the case of India, our country has got sufficient evidence of where this dirtiness emanates from. Then ,why don't we take a proactive approach towards solving this?
Why does India look so helpless in the international scene.May be the country might've felt that being the leader of the sub-continent it should be the flagholder of peace in the region. If being what it has been till now has helped the country's cause in anyway I think the government should continue this.Being no great enthusiast or close watcher of the policy of the government I am not in an authoritative position to say this, but I should say this for the sake of billions of people of this country-Its time for retrospection and the government better do it soon.
Let's not divert from the topic discussing futile government policies which I know very less, nevertheless I know they've failed.
Hatred-that's why i started the discussion.This single act of hatred had disrupted the otherwise normal and mostly happy lives of hundreds of people.Knowing that their life has been disarrayed by people who never knew them, people whom they never knew to even get hated by them is a feeling that is irritating and even more than that its a helpless situation.You don't know whom to blame.You start blaming the religion, the region of the people.It is strange, it is unexplainable...
Yes human life is like that, love hatred and remorse are emotions that fill their life.And as the theory of balanced forces says , everything should have a negative alter ego to balance it.Like darkness for light, satan for god, hell for heaven there should be hatred to show the worthiness of love in this world.
Brought up in a civilized environment,I might not have gone through what these so called terrorists, who are fighting a jihad against the non believers, against people who have taken over their land unjustly, against people who have done injustice to their fellow muslim brothers, might've gone through,but i certainly know and advocate that violence and hatred is not a solution, its only a slow method to end everything.
I haven't read the Holy Khuran.But with all due respect to the holy book , which I have heard from a muslim friend of mine as a guideline to respectful living, the wordings of which hav been contorted and twisted by men of different ages to their advantage.The emerging Islam extremism is just another evil interpretation of the ideas expressed in the book.
Coming back to hatred, yes someone who has lived his whole life without knowing love, bearing hatred and renounciation in every single stage of his life,its hard for him not to turn up into an extremist.Yes he's supposed to hate and despise everything that gave him a life like that.He feels he needs to terminate and hamper anything that put him in such a situation.But why does he think negatively?Why does he try to make the life of more people, who may be innocent, who may have done him ,not even wished him any harm, miserable?
Life is such a short beautiful gift from god.Why couldn't he make life better for one person rather than bring wrath upon hundreds?Instead of spreading the hatred among hundred why doesn't he make life easy for a bunch, he would get even greater happiness being a perpertrator of happiness than the harbinger of death and hatred.By helping one person and by making his life better he would not only be saving himself from the crime of killing many ,but also groom a generation with the sweet memories of love and not on the sourness of hatred that seems to spread everywhere.
Being brought up in a calm and quiet environment which had education as the chief priority and where there was no shortage of love or happiness, may be I am not qualified enough to talk about the minute nuances of terrorism and its effects and solution for it. But all the while ,I think I am eligeble to say that all this hatred wouldn't do the world any good.Evilness and hatred can never bring love and peace to the people who are looking for solutions for their problem.These haphazard actions are a series of blunders, that would only breed hatred and more hatred and nothing more.
I have always learnt to love , never to hate ,not even my enemy. Life hadn't brought to me all the hardships that might've been inflicted on many of the hapless victims of terrorism. But I feel for them ,their losses are like my losses. I appeal to the world to learn to love to live and let live. Let this world be ruled by love and compassion to the fellow beings in the years to come.I would be elated if my write up changed the life of atleast one person , who was in the path of destruction and hatred. Praying before the god for a better future to the world and bigger heart for the terrorists, I close my pen.

Retrospection

As i sit down in my comfortable chair infront of my LCD monitor computer, all courtesy infy, I look back into my past pondering over whether the complicated decisions taken after continuous discussion with more 'knowledgable' people about which direction should my education should go so that I attain a bright future has done anything good to me.
Coming from a middle class family, i was not as bright or as intelligent a student as most parents would want their son to be.But towards the end of my schooling i took up a particular interest for science subjects and started proving ,to my mother's surprise and moreover her extreme happiness that I can top the class too.
After lots of discussion it was decided that I should join a college near to my house(because my mom thought and rightfully so that her presence, to be rightly told her pestering, is the only thing that eggs me on to study) dumping all the high profile NITs and BITs ,Pilani.I started a fresh life at College of Engg., Trivandrum , joining the elite E&C Dept.17 years of schooling that too at the studies oriented Arya Central School, with all studies reading and TV at home had made me an introvert.I couldn't put four words into a line and talk into the face of anybody i didn't know.I was obese, grossly unattractive and unpresentable(though i have not become a John Abraham,i can confidently say i look better now).I planned to change all that in the four years that was ahead of me.
College life was the best life I ever had.Lots and lots of freedom, activities of all kind,great friends,beautiful girls ,cultural fests and so many more things. Life had taken a colorful turn. I found a way to indulge myself in everything and enjoy life to the fullest without falling into any bad habits.My core values never changed.Life was always a jolly ride but the ride was always guided by the single rule, that i wouldn't do anything that my conscience told me, was wrong.This rule seems to work really well and guided me properly thorough the whole of my life, atleast uptil now.
Meanwhile I had lost all my interests in E&C.I can blame it on umpteen reasons, like poor infrastructure, low graded instructors, outdated syllabus etc.But i won't ,because the main reason was that I barely had any interest in E&C when i joined CET.My education was decided by the tide called the trend of the time and not by my interests. I can't blame anybody for that , because i didn't have any particular opinion of what to do after schooling.
The way I shaped myself to break out of my introvert image had exploded into a situation which made me an extrovert. I had set my eyes on a management career. But by then my different activities and lack of interest towards studies had put me on a backfoot.I never could spent too much time, could never be dedicated the way I was to achieve my goals.Nevertheless i was never a whiner all the way. I decided I'd give it every bit till i reached a position where I can reap the fruits of my dreams.I follow one of my favorite sayings "I may not win always but my heart ain't that of a loser". Talking about favorite sayings one of my all time favs quotes is linked with the previous one. Its the last line of THE BOXER by Simon & Garfunkel. It goes this way:"He carries the mark of every glove that laid him or cut him, but the fighter still remains". Don't know why but i just love those sayings which motivate you to keep trying.Time flies over. Thats what most people say. So did my four beautiful college years.It was time for everyone to split up and go your way.The pain was always there, of splitting up with friends,but my forte was hiding my emotions, so I never gave it away. I remember seeing off my close pal Hari , who was all tears when he was about to board the plane to IIM-C.I made fun of him while he retorted that I had no emotions.Those are situations that you come across in your life.They have to be taken as they come to you.
One by one each and every one left, just like the falling leaves of a tree in autumn.I decided to join Infosys, though I had another offer too.This was the wisest decisions i had ever taken. Firstly, I got a lot more time to be at home as i had to join late in september, the last time I'd ever be at home for that long.But more importantly, I had my first ,I hope its not the last, taste of a world class training facility.You ask for anything,and they provide it there.
The hostels were the most luxurious and comfortable abodes that any institution can provide.Life was immersed in luxury.Being paid for attending training is not a bad option , i guess!!! The discipline, the cleanliness ,the atmosphere is such that it is not something that we find in any indian institution.If I start talking about Infosys, Mysore it'll make me write one more article.
But the best part I had in my life was I made a lot of friends, a lot more closer than anyone can ever become. I started to respect my relationships with my friends.I started to cherish each and every little friendship I had in my life.I lost no chance in remaining in contact with every single person who was valuable in my life.I started knowing the pain of being away from home and the best part of it was I grew accustomed to being away from home.
Training at Infosys was even more fun, interacting with people from different parts of india shape your behavioural patterns very much.I started having a more open outlook towards life.To speak out when I need to be, to express my love and hatred openly,to laugh and enjoy others successes and even to cry for others sorrows.Of course, I was influenced by my friends, old and new , in all these.
But all good things must come to an end, so did my luxurious life at Mysore. While i was sent to Chennai, some of my friends were posted elsewhere. I had to part with them, but life's like that.The two people whom I'd miss the most were Moksha , who had grown very close to me after coming to Infy and my dear room mate and buddy at Infy Praveen. SOme of the farewells ended in tears, though not on my side.
Then life took a new turn.Being at Chennai was completely different.My first metro life.Had a real taste why these cities were classified as metros, apart from considering the population.The buildings were huge and the roads are as wide as they can get.Life is fast there and people dont care aboutanyone else.People who say cities like Kochi must me made metro must have a look at Chennai ,which happens to be the smallest metro.
Life was not at all hectic at MCity, Chennai(that's the name of the location for the Chennai Mahindra city Industrial park).But it was great, travelling in the not so crowded but not so empty Electric train service to office, having those lengthy breakfast and even longer lunch sessions with friends.Most of my close friends were with me at Mcity.Ajith ,Deepthi, Jabir and then we had one more friend added into our group,,Ambily.Life is now so full of fun,with those great weekend trips to all places in the city.After coming here my life had become less hectic, giving me more time to read, hear music, and amazingly ,write!!!.People here know me as a poet now.A guy with no literary sense turning into a poet?Life is strange and unexplainable.Like i always say an idle mind is a devil's workshop and that's the only reason why I indulge in something or another when I get a lot of free time.Most of those works too turn up to be devilish.Some people i Know might've understood what I meant.Nevertheless they are somethings which helped me shoo away boredom and I never regret doing that.AS I sit in my cubicle in A-wing 2nd floor,SDB-1 of Infosys technologies limited, there arelots of activities going on around, both official and unofficial.People having coffee in groups.MLs dealing with client issues or talking with onsite contacts.My cubicle seems to be the quietest of all.Jerry as usual working on his mock project.Ambily ,again as always reading some e-book or watching videos, while I sit here with my newspapers lying around,tapping on my keyboard to somehow finish this off.I wait here for the next job to be assigned to me(what else can a software engineer wait for?).But all the while I hope for the next important turn in my life to happen.Hoping against all hopes, I'ds say.